Frozen in Fear

Just yesterday BlackMacX posted a comment about self-defence in response to one of my posts a few months ago. He raised a really important point about one of the most neglected responses in an emergency situation. We often hear about fight or flight but we often overlook the third f-word; freeze.

Freezing is a common response when we are shocked and overwhelmed. It happens to us on occasion even during regular daily activities. How many times has someone said or done something unexpected and you momentarily froze, unable to respond for even just a few moments? These are all opportunities to practice being relaxed when we sense we're in danger. Even taking a few seconds to breathe deeply when these surprises come up can help increase the oxygen available to the body and brain which allows us to make a better decision in the moment.

BlackMacX mentioned that a relative of his, who was well-trained in self-defence, was assaulted in her home. Despite all her training she froze because, as she put it, "I can't believe this is happening". Her disbelief prevented her from being able to react to the situation in the way she had been trained. This is not an uncommon reaction among those we would expect to be able to handle something like this. The difficulty for a self-defence practitioner is in actually having a legitimate experience in order to test their years of training. It's similar to a solider being well-trained but yet totally unprepared for the realities of a real war. It's hard to simulate what happens in the body until you're really in the thick of it.

There are a few things we can do to prevent freezing in an emergency situation:

1. Do things that scare you on a daily or weekly basis. By doing this you increase your confidence and your tolerance for challenges. The overall effects of this simple act on multiple areas of your life are immeasurable.
2. Remember to breathe. Many people hold their breath when they are challenged, this is not helpful since the body needs even more oxygen to perform optimally in an emergency.
   
3. A great way to practice reacting without freezing is to speak your mind whenever someone throws an insult or shocks you with their words or behaviour. Let them know that you're hurt, shocked, insulted, or annoyed instead of smiling and discounting their rudeness. Come up with one or two phrases that sound natural to you and practice them often. This may seem totally unrelated to defending yourself against an attack but it's actually the same reaction in the body just on a smaller scale. Become aware of how you're feeling and where the discomfort is when these things happen. This awareness helps to prevent you from shutting down when you need to react.
4. Imagine the worst that can happen then invent positive outcome strategies to handle the situation. The relative of BlackMacX's explained it all when she said she couldn't believe what was happening. It may sound pessimistic but there is extensive research to prove that people who imagine the worst are often pleasantly surprised by the outcome of events. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed or even devastated. There is also a body of research that shows that practicing something in detail, in the mind is the near equivalent of real, physical practice. I frequently imagine benign situations getting out of hand just to see what kinds of strategies and techniques I can come up with. It's not morbid or depressing, I treat it like a game where I'm the hero and I have to "take care of" the bad guys any way I can.
5. And last but not least, decide that you are a fighter. The kind of person who will fight to protect the right to exist and to protect your well-being, whatever you define that to mean.
   

And finally, there is the issue of genetics and learned behaviour from our parents. How our parents react in extreme situations can tell us a lot about how we will react. There are a few of us who are blessed with a predisposition to react calmly and rationally in an emergency. However, even if your parents tend toward hysterics when the going gets tough, all is not lost. You can train your body to develop new patterns of behaviour but it does take a little time and focus. It all depends on what you decide your priorities will be.